DINK Envy

I came across a blog the other day that I can completely relate to: DINK (double income, no kids) envy. 

If anyone understands this, it is me. I was the first one of my three good college girlfriends (and one of the first in all of our combined friends) to have children. Not only did we just have one kid before everyone else had one; no, we had two in rapid succession. (Don't worry - we are done! Ha!) But it is hard to have friends that don't have children when you have two. Or even one for that matter!

Here within the past six months, I have invited my best friends over to our house to watch the Big 12 championship, for a Christmas party, New Years, the OU bowl game and then for my son's second birthday party. Of my three best friends, one came ONCE. And I'm pretty sure the only reason she came was because she is now pregnant and will invite us to her daughter's birthday party in a year and a half. Those of you that have kids and have friends without kids know exactly why you invite them to your house: you have the swings, pack-n-plays, clothes, diapers, cribs/beds, and toys. Not to mention, you house is kid friendly and has all of the appropriate safety measures in place. Added bonus: if they come over, you can put the kids to bed and have adult time!

I really don't have anyone to talk to about how hard it is to take a 2-year-old and a 5-month-old grocery shopping or to talk about the lack of sleep at night. They don't understand the challenge of getting a babysitter with short notice. Nope. They don't understand. Instead, they invite us to go to non-kid friendly places to eat, and instead of coming over for football games or just to hang out, they go to bars because they still can. Then they talk about their trips to Costa Rica. Rub it in, will ya?! We can't go to any of these places. Well, I guess we could, but we chose to have children and we want to be the best parents possible. 

I feel myself slipping away from my best friends. It's a sad feeling. What do we have in common anymore? Our lives are completely different. I understand their lives, but haven't lived it in over two years. They don't understand mine at all. They all work and my work is changing diapers, kissing boo boos, trying to teach someone to roll over and the other one their ABC's. They get a pay check and can go get pedicures and go shopping. My pay check comes in the form of kisses, smiles and "I love you Mommy"'s. 

Some days I get really down and complain to my husband. But I always end up back in the same place every time I let DINK envy get to me: I'm the one to be jealous of. They don't know how wonderful it is to hold your sweet child in your arms. They don't know how wonderful it  is to smell your baby right after a bath while you are rocking them to sleep. They have never had their child look at them and say, "I love you Mommy." That's right. Friends, I love you. I really do! But I'm not jealous of you! I have two sweet children that I would die for and I'm so lucky that I can call myself their Mommy.